When I had Kendall, I envisioned myself being able to do all the same things I used to do. Keep up with my blog, craft, make nice dinners, go shopping...I was wrong.
At the 5 week mark, Kendall increasingly became more and more unhappy and uncomfortable, which was a shock after 5 weeks of having such a happy and content baby. After a grueling week of hearing her painful cry and seeing her writhe in pain (and massive amounts of google research on my part) I self diagnosed her with silent reflux--which the doctors agreed with. She doesn't spit up like a normal refluxer, it comes halfway up her esophagus and then back down--burning twice as badly as reflux.
We got her on Zantac which seemed to help for a couple weeks, and we also brought her to a chiropractor who specializes in infant care. She showed signs of improvement for a little while. However, around her 8 week mark, the Zantac either stopped working, or she built up a tolerance to it--because her symptoms and unhappiness returned.
She is now on Prevacid and it seems to be working a little bit, but it's a pain to administer (a tab thats put into a syringe with water--and must be given n an empty stomach, at least 30 minutes before eating). This means I either have to give it to her in the middle of the night while she's sleeping and hope that she doesn't wake up--or first thing in the morning--and make her wait 30 minutes before nursing her (while listening to her scream and cry the whole time). Neither option is very fun...
I've been on a dairy-free diet for 2 weeks now, to see if maybe she has a dairy intolerance, but I'm inclined to think it's NOT that. I plan on introducing dairy back into my diet in the next few days to see how she reacts. She didn't have any of the classic dairy intolerance symptoms (diarrhea, spitting up after nursing, eczema, rash, etc) but I figured it couldn't hurt to test it out. She definitely has some sort of digestive issues going on...but we don't seem to be getting many answers from the doctor as far as that goes. We were basically told that "babies cry" and that she'll grow out of it. I am fully aware that babies cry...but this is a painful cry...something very different than an "I'm hungry" or "I'm bored" cry....
Some days are good...some are not. I cry right along with her because its an awful feeling knowing that she's in pain--and I can't figure out why--and I can't help her. We've tried everything we could think of...and I know I've done my best.
I'm struggling with the thought of going back to work in 4 weeks. I'm returning at the 14 week mark rather then 12. It's still a month away, but I still bawl when thinking of being away from her. Crazy how I am so attached to such a little human being. I think of myself sitting at work, thinking of her--wondering if she's crying or in pain, an it turns me into a big, emotional, sobbing mess.
She is such a sweet girl--full of smiles and coos when she feels good. I wish she could be like that all the time...but something is obviously bothering her.
She is thriving otherwise...growing like a weed--gaining weight....her 2 month appointment has come and gone along with 3 shots which she did not care for AT ALL. The doctor said she was great in all areas and was so impressed with how much weight she can bear on her legs--and how if you hold under her armpits and guide her forward--she puts one foot in front of the other like she's walking...all the way across the table! I think she'll be an early walker...
She is such a cuddler and doesn't like to be put down (which is a bad habit that I give in to every time). Most days I have her in my arms, or the front pack...although she will occasionally be content in her bouncer for a little while. She isn't a fan of her pack and play or her crib...something I'm hoping will come with time.
Nights are something I'm very thankful for...Kendall has been sleeping through the night for a while now. Bedtime is around 8-9pm, and she usually sleeps until about 3 or 4, eats, and then goes back to sleep. We usually get up for the day around 6:30 or 7. She definitely likes her sleep at night. The only hard thing is that she's in bed with us...so when she goes to bed--we go to bed. We've tried the pack and play which is right next to our bed--but she is so restless and can sense that we aren't near her--and wakes right up. I cant say that I mind too much right now...I love having her snuggled into me...but I know i need to transition her out of our bed soon. The first night that I tried the pack and play, I cried my eyes out. I thought to myself "if I can't stand to sleep 2 feet away from her, how am I supposed to go back to work??" It's a thought I struggle with daily--but I can not stay home. I have too good of a job and pay and benefits to stay home....otherwise, I would in a heartbeat...at least for a couple years.
That's all for now. Kendall is snoozing in the front pack and I should probably get some stuff accomplished before she wakes up.
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