You're Invited! To my Pity Party.

I don’t have an excuse for posting an entire week after my last entry—other than the fact that my life really isn’t that exciting. I wish I had exciting things to write about every day, but the truth is that my day generally consists of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, and going to bed. If I wrote about that every day—no one would ever be interested in reading my posts again!

Actually, I’d be lying if I said the last week or so has been dull around my household. We recently put our house up for sale (!!!) and it took a lot of cleaning, packing, organizing, and hauling out things that were just taking up space. After many hours of sweat, tears (yes, tears—thank you pregnancy hormones) and frustration, our house was finally ready for the for sale sign in the front yard! No leads yet—but we’re patiently waiting. Never fear—we aren’t planning on moving far….just down the road.

Some other exciting news is that I’m planning a mini-trip to Boston for me and Casey! It will be a nice Wednesday-Sunday getaway and we’re planning on going to a Red Sox game and just doing some relaxing and sightseeing. We haven’t been away on a trip together in a long time, and decided now is the time—since we’ll have our hands full in about 5 months! (Yes Baby H, I’m talking about you).

Speaking of Baby H…I’m almost 16 weeks (4 months) along now. It seems crazy to think that next month will be the halfway mark. Our next appointment is this coming Tuesday—and should only be a Doppler appointment to hear the heartbeat. Yes, our 12 week appointment was supposed to JUST be a Doppler appointment too, but we all know how that turned out. If you don’t know how that turned out, refer to an earlier posting I made….I’m hoping we don’t have a repeat of that this time.

I have to admit that I’m feeling guilty.

Before I was pregnant, whenever I would hear pregnant women complain about how they felt “fat”, I would think to myself “I would kill to be pregnant, stop complaining!”

Now that I’m pregnant—I know how they felt.

When someone notices or remarks on my “belly”, which is apparently becoming more noticeable, I don’t know whether to feel proud, or offended.

I wish could be the type of person to embrace the changes in my body and love the fact that I’m starting to get a “belly”, but in all honesty—I’m not. It’s awful to say that, since I’ve wanted this for so long, and it’s such a gift…but in reality—I’ve always been a self-conscious person and very aware of any little change in my body. THIS, is a big change. And let’s face it---NO ONE likes gaining weight or seeing major changes in their figure…particularly their mid-section!

I don’t FEEL pregnant yet. I feel like the Pillsbury Dough-Girl. Squishy, uncomfortable….I’m in that really weird in-between stage where people probably look at me and think “wow, she’s let herself go!” rather than, “awww, she’s pregnant!”

Maybe this will change once I start feeling Baby H kick and move around in there. But for now, as guilty as I feel saying it, I feel gross. I know, I know... “it’s only going to get worse”….you don’t have to tell me, I already know. I’m just having a momentary pity-party, so just bear with me.

I went to Old Navy yesterday to check out their maternity section and was pretty disappointed. Compared to most Old Navy’s, there was not much of a selection AT ALL. I tried on a pair of maternity pants and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t own any maternity clothes and at 16 weeks, I don’t know whether I should be transitioning into them yet or not. My pre-pregnancy jeans aren’t the most comfortable thing in the world anymore (and my muffin-top that spills over the waistband isn’t the most attractive either) but the maternity pants just didn’t look or fit right at this point either because my “belly” isn’t quite a pronounced “belly” yet!

I gave up on the pants and went to check out the maternity shirts. I held up a small and for a minute I thought I was in a camping store….it could have passed as a 3-person tent. Needless to say, I left the store with no maternity clothes.

I’m sick of hiding behind baggy shirts and pants that are slowly cutting off my circulation…but I’m not quite ready to flaunt my new “figure”…if that’s what you want to call it!

Enough complaining, I want to slap MYSELF at this point.

I promise next time I post I won’t be in this funk. On a brighter note—it’s FRIDAY!